Saturday, 26 May 2018

Today's Review: Stepping On Something Wet With No Shoes On

I've experienced many sensations over the years, varying levels of pain and discomfort, but nothing fills me with abject horror quite like stepping on something wet with no shoes on. Especially in the dark. it could be anything from a puddle to a stray turd (pet or child, you know what I mean), it is my utmost belief that nothing good in this world is naturally wet, at least not when it's squished between your toes. Given my feelings during that split second between stepping in it to identifying it, everything I've stepped in may as well be turds. One of the worst sensations know toan, and the primary reason I always give my feet some protection from the outside world.

My rating: 0/5

Friday, 25 May 2018

Today's Review: Wilko Sour Mallow Clouds


Here's a quick little review of these Sour Mallow Clouds I picked up at Wilko a few days back, I can't say I've tried too many sour marshmallows, so this bag really appealed to me. They come in a variety of colours, but it doesn't affect the flavour, so let's just say they're interesting shaped marshmallows with a sour coating. Despite my initial misgivings, I must say they're not too bad. The marshmallows themselves aren't the best quality, but they possess some of that nice fluffiness. The sour element is pulled off well, an initial hit from the coating, but the tang continues through the marshmallow itself, making these some nice chewy, tart mallows. A unique little bag among the other generic confectionery offerings, track them down.

My rating: 4/5

Thursday, 24 May 2018

Today's Review: Müller Bliss Corner Salted Caramel Cheesecake


First we had the Müller Corners, then Bliss came around, and now we have the result of the unholy union of the two, the Bliss Corner. It's the whipped Greek style yogurt, the flavoured underlayer, but with a little something extra to mix in too. So here we have their take on the salted caramel cheesecake, and I have to say they've done a pretty good job. The yogurt does very well at emulating that creamy cheese, while the biscuit crumble adds that nice buttery crunch, to round off that cheesecake experience. As for the salted caramel, it's a nice addition, but it's a little on the weak side. Smooth and sweet, yes, but kind of light on the salt, and the ratio of salted caramel to yogurt means it never really comes to the forefront of the flavour. Still, all mixed together it makes for a lovely little dessert. I hope they come out with some more varieties.

My rating: 4/5

Wednesday, 23 May 2018

Today's Review: Poundland Chocolate Misfits


There seems to be a bit of a wonky food revolution happening at the moment, but let us not forget that broken biscuit bags have been around for a while. I thought I'd grabbed a right bargain when I picked up this bag of Chocolate Misfits, just look at that picture there, Twix, Bounty, and what looks like Snickers! I don't mind having broken up chocolate bar, especially for a mere pound.

Of course, they're not Twix, Bounty and Snickers, they're off brand bars with various fillings. The ingredients on the back tout a whole load of interesting bars, from chocolate hazelnut to truffle to chocolate nougat. Instead what I got was small coconut filled bars, a poor imitation of a Snickers and some kind of Kit Kat like creation but with dark chocolate. I mean, they're not awful chocolate bars, clearly not as good as the big name stuff, but they're pretty much supermarket brand level. But for a bag that promised me a mish mash of biscuits, only getting three was a bit of a kick in the teeth. I guess life is like a bag of Chocolate Misfits, you never know what you're gonna get. Also it's slightly broken and disappointing.

My rating: 2/5

Tuesday, 22 May 2018

Today's Review: Burning Your Tongue

We've all been there. Perhaps our hot drink hadn't cooled down enough, maybe that thing we put in the microwave was still as hot as the surface of the sun. Whichever way you did it, I'm sure you've burned your tongue at some point in your life, and there's no quicker way for my day to go from good to bad than burning my tongue.

The tongue is a muscle, an unprotected muscle living in what amounts to a wet cave with lots of pointy rocks in it. There's no refuge for a burnt tongue, it'll constantly be knocking into teeth and jaw, your tongue doesn't even sit comfortably in your mouth anyway. Besides, even with a burnt tongue you still need to eat to survive, so no matter what you do you have to experience that pain over and over, until the burn finally heals and everything goes back to normal. Until the next time...

My rating: 0/5

Monday, 21 May 2018

Today's Review: E. Wedel Krowka Fudge


The world food section of my local Tesco isn't particularly stacked with exciting products, but I find something new from time to time. The other day I spied this happy looking cow, adorning a bag of Polish fudge. I like fudge anyway, let alone a new fudge experience, so I had to snatch this up.

Turns out this is a milky, creamy fudge, slightly different from your regular stuff. There's an outer shell that's particularly fudge-like, but it gives way to a smooth, creamy interior that very milky and satisfyingly gooey. Very indulgent, but easy to put a few away. It's a lovely sweet, rich flavour that I just couldn't get enough of, I had to stop myself before I ate the whole bag. This is an interesting little bag of fudge that's well worth checking out, I know I'll grab more next time I see them.

My rating: 5/5

Sunday, 20 May 2018

Today's Review: Halo Top Cinnamon Roll


I just had to give some more of this Halo Top a try. After all, it's the only way I can eat an entire tub of ice cream and not feel guilty. Well, not too guilty anyway. Most of the flavours I wasn't overly fussed about, especially vanilla, but this one definitely caught my eye. Cinnamon rolls, in low calorie ice cream form! I have lamented the loss of the cinnamon buns Ben & Jerry's for a while, so I was hoping this would fill the void.

Well, there are no chunks in this tub, I'll get that out of the way first. I mean, I didn't expect any, but a few chunks of something would have really kicked it up a notch. As it is though, this is a nice creamy ice cream, with a sweet and slightly spicy kick of cinnamon. It leans a little too much on the cinnamon side, but the ice cream itself does a good job of emulating that cinnamon roll icing, and it all pulls together really well in the end. A warming tub of ice cream, if that makes sense. One for the cinnamon lovers.

My rating: 4/5