Wednesday, 24 May 2017

Today's Review: Baywatch

I've never seen the Baywatch TV show, I'll say that from the start. But I do know about the Hoff, Pamela Anderson and the slow motion red swimsuit running, and maybe that's all the education I need. Besides, let's review Baywatch on its own merits as an action comedy movie, rather than in comparison to the show. Either way, I think we're going to get the same result.

This is the part where I'd normally discuss the plot, but there's so little to it, and it's so predictable, I don't really want to bother. There's righteous muscle bound lifeguard Dwayne Johnson, fresh faced obnoxious muscle bound trainee lifeguard Zac Efron, bumbling joke fodder trainee lifeguard played by a chubby guy, and some women with boobs. I'm not trying to objectify here, boobs are a main focus and talking point for a large chunk of the movie. But don't worry ladies, there's something for everyone, with two elongated dick jokes that last for about five minutes each. 

It's all sandwiched between over the top chase scenes held together by a paint by numbers plot, which is pretty much narrated by the characters constantly as we go along, just in case you can't keep track of generic Hollywood story lines. This movie has fallen into that typical American comedy style that seems to be taking over nowadays. Several swears in a row, that's funny! Talking about genitals for a full minute, that's funny! Elongated improv style dialogue that contributes nothing to the overall movie, that's funny too!

I guess with everything else being awful, there is some saving grace in the action sequences. They inject a little bit of excitement, but most of the time they're very unnecessary. For the risk of spoiling the entirely predictable plot, there's a part where one of the life guards films the bad guys on her phone, then the bad guy takes it, sparking a gripping chase over a lake on jet skis, then through someone's house, at the end of which the bad guy breaks the phone in half. Why didn't he snap it to start with? Or, you know, chuck it in the large body of water? Unnecessary, much like this entire movie. I'd like to say it's alright for your typical Hollywood laugh fest, but I honestly can't even do that. Baywatch is bad.

My rating: 1/5

Tuesday, 23 May 2017

Today's Review: Cadbury Caramel Roundies

I tried out the chocolate Roundies from Cadbury about a week ago, and found them to be pretty enjoyable. Nice thick biscuits with a crispy wafer and generous chocolate coating. But there's also a caramel variety available, and everything's better with a bit of caramel, right? Well, not in this case. You'd have thought the caramel would be present between the wafers, but instead it's presented as a caramel flavoured wafer. Problem is, the caramel doesn't taste good. It's far too artificial tasting, overpowering, and left a bit of a funny after taste. The chocolate parts are still present, and go some way to making the overall biscuit nicer, but that overarching caramel taste is just too much, and I didn't enjoy these anywhere near as much as the regular chocolate ones. Maybe I'm wrong, and my taste buds were playing up that day, but these are definitely the worse flavour in my eyes.

My rating: 2/5

Monday, 22 May 2017

Today's Review: Kettle Chips Goats' Cheese & Balsamic Onion

Yay, it's time for another limited edition of Kettle Chips, and this one has goats' cheese, which is a cheese I love. I mean, I love pretty much all cheese, but goats' cheese especially. Also, there's balsamic onion in there, because cheese and onion go together like... cheese and onion? Anyway, I had high hopes for these crisps after scarfing down a fair few bags of Tesco's Finest Goat's Cheese & Chilli Jam crisps. Unfortunately, these disappoint. The goats' cheese is accurate enough in flavour, but there' just not much of it. I wanted something bold with a creamy kick, but I got a cheesy beginning that tapered off to just potato chip. The onion is there to pick up the slack a little, and it's a nice little additional flavour that kicks it up a notch, but it's all over too soon. With a little more seasoning these could be great, but if you're looking for some goats' cheese crisps, I'd go for the Tesco ones.

My rating: 3/5

Sunday, 21 May 2017

Today's Review: Reese's Snack Mix

I love a bit of Reese's, and thankfully there are a lot of different products to keep me occupied. Here we have a Reese's Snack Mix, which is like a trail mix with Reese's candy in it. It's a combination of mini Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Reese's Pieces, peanuts and salted pretzel pieces. I found this in the American section of a fairly sizeable Tesco, so its availability may waiver. But is it worth looking for?

Well, not particularly, to be fair. The Reese's parts are fine, the mini cups are substantially chocolatey with a lovely peanut butter kick, with the Pieces giving the overall flavour a bit of a top up and a nice crunch. The other elements are a little bland though, the pretzels especially. The peanuts carry on the nuttiness, but a little more chocolate wouldn't go amiss. The pretzels are fairly chunky, and pretty dry, the saltiness and blandness take away from the overall taste, and there's just not enough chocolate to make it all okay. There are better trail mixes out there, and if you're set on Reese's, there are plenty of alternatives. This is just a very average little bag of treats.

My rating: 3/5

Saturday, 20 May 2017

Today's Review: Haribo Tangfastic Summer Frenzy Ice Cream Sorbet Flavours

I'm quite fond of these "frenzy" flavours that come out every now and then, they give the classic Haribo a little twist that normally goes pretty well. This time it's a summer edition, so we have "ice cream sorbet" flavours, If you think that means some of your regular fruit flavours, you'd be wrong. These are a combination of peach, watermelon, passion fruit, mango and bubblegum. Bit of an odd selection, I know, they don't really seem to fit well with the sorbet and ice cream theme.

After tasting them, I'd say they really don't fit. The ice cream is presented in the form of the foam on the back of the crocodiles. I wouldn't say it particularly tastes like ice cream, but it's fairly creamy. The sweets themselves have pretty intense, sweet flavours, some in keeping with the fruits, but others taking it to the extreme. There's nothing particularly bad in this bag, but I was expecting something a little more subdued to coincide with the ice cream theme. As it is the fruits overshadow the other elements, so it would be more fitting to just market these as fruity Tangfastics. An interesting attempt, but I can't say this is a fantastic bag.

My rating: 3/5

Friday, 19 May 2017

Today's Review: Refreshers Choos

So Drumstick Choos are a thing, and they're awesome, so it makes sense that Drumstick wouldn't be the only sweet to get the treatment. Here we have Refreshers Choos, which are like the Refreshers bars in chew form. There are five flavours in this bag. We have the original lemon, strawberry, apple, pineapple and raspberry. Much like the Drumstick, there are some new ones chucked in there, so I was excited to see how they'd turn out. Sorry about the awful pic, it was a quick snap in the dark cinema, but I think you get the gist.

One thing I don't like about Refreshers bars is how messy they can get. Sometimes I try my very best, but still wind up with an elongated, sticky catastrophe, albeit a tasty one. These Choos negate that problem, offering up the classic Refreshers flavour in bite size form. There's also some of the fizzy sherbet stuff inside, although I found some of that just wound up in my lap when I opened the wrapper. Still, there was enough left to give these a bit of a kick. The pre-existing flavours are faithful to the original, and the new one are pretty good too, although not entirely accurate, I was a little disappointed by the pineapple. One thing I will say is the texture is a bit off, these aren't quite as chewy as the bars, but I guess that saves on the jaw muscles, and overall these are a pretty good attempt at some new Refreshers sweets. Let's hope there are more Choos on the horizon.

My rating: 4/5

Thursday, 18 May 2017

Today's Review: Aglaia Closet Light

Last week I reviewed the Aglaia floor lamp, and now I bring you their closet light, which I was sent earlier this week. It's an LED light with a magnetic strip that can be placed in your closets or small spaces to brighten things up a bit. We recently converted one of our cupboards into a walk in wardrobe for the kids, so this light sounded like exactly what I needed.

Yup, there you go. This light is compact, but it packs a lot of power. The LEDs give a brilliant warm white light , and is angled nicely so it doesn't attack the eyes. On the back is an adhesive magnetic strip which sticks to the wall, and then the light can be removed for charging. That's right, no wall socket needed, it comes with a USB cable so you can charge the battery up for two hours of light, which can last a while if you're just ducking in and out of a closet.

That's where the beauty of this thing really shines through. This light contains sensors to minimise energy use in every situation. Aside from the main power switch, there's also a light sensor, so it only lights up when it's dark enough. The front also has a motion sensor, which turns the light on as soon as I move towards it, and shuts it off pretty soon after I'm out of range. So yeah, this closet light is pretty perfect. It's bright, easy to attach, and energy efficient. It's just what I needed to light up my space, and I'm sure it would do for most others as well.

My rating: 5/5