Thursday 16 November 2017

Today's Review: Soggy Cereal

I love cereal. Whoever says they don't like cereal just hasn't met the right cereal, I'm sure. It's a ubiquitous presence on the breakfast table, alongside the milk that goes with it. Some people may eat cereal without milk, but then, can they even be considered human?

It's a delicate balance, you see, because dry cereal is pretty awful, but soggy cereal is even worse. I genuinely go into a milk state of anxiety if I pour milk on my cereal and then have to attend to something else, the fear of returning to soft, sloppy cereal is too much to bear. It's like overcooking a steak or having burnt toast, it ruins the meal, and since it's breakfast time that sets up the mood for the whole day. I've learned to clear all distractions, to not pour the milk until I am sure I can instantly eat through the bowl. I even regulate the amount of milk that gets onto the cereal while eating by angling the bowl as I make my way through. In this way, all cereals can retain their crunchiness, be they Weetos, Coco Pops, Golden Nuggets or Krave. Because all cereal deserves to be wet, but none of them deserve to be soggy.

Apart from Weetabix, that stuff's delicious all mushed up.

My rating: 1/5

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